Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mommies Archives

Raising Children And Raising Our Future

Today we spent a wonderful afternoon at the park, the sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the smell of Spring filled the air!  I felt inspired and full of hope.  In a distance I watched my children play and enjoy themselves.  They played make believe, went down slides, went on the swings, and relished in the sunshine.

As I watched them play I reflected on my role as Mama, and my commitment to educating and helping them grow.  No one gives us a instruction book on raising kids but if we look inside ourselves for the answers, your own personal answers will be clear.

I’ve learned, when confusion or doubt over come me, I do my best to focus on my heart.  I breath into my heart and ask for clarity.  In raising children this is so powerful.  For instance…  When I was deciding what kind of education to give our children, I felt so confused and unsure of myself.  But then I decided I needed to come up with our own recipe, the recipe for education that worked for our family.  I spent a lot of time in meditation and the answer was clear.  We were going to be a home schooled, Unschooled family.  Of course we are always learning and shifting things, but the clarity of home schooled family was perfect for us.

You see our children are our future, they are the next generation who will be responsible for the care of our planet, and the care of each other.  And as our population grows and we move into the Aguarian Age, it’s up to us wise Adults, to embrace this kind of clarity.  And as a direct result, we will be teaching our kids to do the same.

“So when in doubt, or confused, look inside and find clarity”

Meditation To Know Your Truth!

Hello my dear friends,

The past few days I have begun a 120 meditation.  This meditation  will give you the ability to be able to experience the unseen.  It’s nice and easy but it gives you that ability not to be lost in the, “I don’t understand,”  you will feel that peace in your heart.

Please join me in this 120 day commitment.  It’s 11 minutes out of your whole day.  If you can’t find 11 minutes out of 24 hours in a day for yourself then you need to re evaluate your priorities.  This meditation is very calming, it brings you a sense of peace, of understanding, and of knowing.

Do this for 120 days and you will tap into this ability very powerfully.

Here’s a link to Gurmuks weekly message.  At the end of the message she explains how to do this 11 minute meditation.

http://www.goldenbridgeyoga.com/

With Love and Grace,

Guru Shakti

Your Personal Life Lessons!


When you were in your mothers womb you were aware of your vastness, you were aware and excited to come into this world and live a human life.  When you are born suddenly your memory of this knowledge is wiped away and now it’s your job to catch up to this awareness.

In each life time we are presented with a series of lessons that are meant for you to pass through.  In fact all relationships in your life are perfect for the lessons you need to learn.  Any challenging relationships are merely a perfect reflection of the lesson that is trying to get your attention

For instance, my father and I went for years without talking, we had a painful and resentful relationship and just couldn’t make it work.  It wasn’t until I realized the lesson that I wasn’t seeing in this situation.  I was failing to take 100% responsibility for my part in this relationship.  I was putting so much blame on him and felt like the victim.  I realized that being the victim in this situation was never going to lead to my liberation, my enlightenment in this life time.  And I have no desire to re live this un finished lesson again in my next life.

Where is there a lot of pain or hurt in your life?  Perhaps you have a relationship that is un settled, an addiction that you give into, a dream that you ignore with distraction, and so on!  Don’t you think it’s time to take 100% responsibility for your life and take care of these lessons?  Are you willing to be that courageous to take one step, not knowing how, just knowing why?  This is exactly what I’ve done with my dad, and because of this level of responsibility I now have, I know it can only succeed.

You’ve been given this life as a gift to take care of these things here and now, don’t postpone your growth and wait for another life to get out of your ignorance.  Ignorance does not mean your dumb, it simply means you ignore what you know, so let’s stop ignoring what we already know.

Much love,

Guru Shakti

Our UNschooling Adventure!

Over the past 4 years I’ve explored home schooling with our two daughters. We’ve gone from tons of structure and rules about our education to almost no structure and little rules on what we do during our days of learning.

When I first heard of Unschooling I felt intrigued by it but unsure of how it would play out if we really applied it to our lives. Over the past year I toyed around with idea but felt almost scared to give up that much control over my child’s daily education. I wondered how my girls would learn what is necessary for their lives if no one was sitting down with a text book to coach them and instructed them every day. How could I trust that they would have a natural curiosity for knowledge that would lead them to learning how to read, write, understand mathematics, and so on.

Two months ago I had a long conversation with my mom about my worries and challenges that were coming up with our home schooling, I felt like the path we were taking wasn’t working. Don’t get me wrong, we were making progress but at what cost? Every time I sat down to do school with the girls and much of the time they resisted it, my daughter Kayleen would fight me and the experience felt forced and totally un natural. My mom mentioned that I should give Un schooling a real try for the next 4 months and see what happens, and that is just what we are doing now. So it’s been two months and here is what I notice.

1. Kayleen LOVES computers and she plays them a lot. I used to worry that she was playing too much but now that I’ve stopped putting restrictions on her she takes breaks to do other things too. Also I am very aware of what she is doing on the web, she searches for things that interest her, she is still learning to read but some how she figures out what she needs to type in and types it in herself, she loves the educational games and is learning a lot of skills. She also leaned how to use print shop last week, she crops pictures, she copies and pastes them, she makes cards, she makes calendars, she does special effects, and much more. Who am I to stand in the way of her interest, who knows this may be apart of her profession some day.

2. So much more harmony in the home. I swear we barely ever argue now, I can tell they feel uplifted from mommy being so excited about the things they love to do. I no longer have to force them to do things they don’t enjoy and that is a huge relief.

3. Each day the kids help around the house. Mayleena loves to organize things, clean things, she decorates things. I used to tell her she couldn’t set up her room the way she wanted because many times it led to a big mess. I’ve stepped out of her way and let her organize the way she wants and I can see how proud of herself she is. Who cares if she has clothes folded on her book shelf, books in her dwars, pieces of fabric hanging from her bunk bed for decoration, hangers across her window for decoration and much more. She has a great eye for different styles and art. Yesterday she organized the bathroom and I won’t touch a thing, I vow to leave the bathroom the way she wants it because I know she put so much effort into it. Also Kayleen empties the dish washer every day and she doesn’t fight me on that anymore either, and a few days ago she went in her room, locked the door and totally cleaned her room, and believe me when I say she never did anything like that until now.

4. I feel so happy to be available for them. One misconception about Unschooling is the idea that the kids run the show and the parents to nothing. I understand now that Unschooling means you are there for them when they need you. If they have questions, if they need help, if they want my support they know I’m here for them. So each day I go about my day, I spend some time playing with them, doing some things I need to get done and I make sure they know I’m available if they need help with anything or want to play. Every day is different, some days they need me a lot and some days they are so content doing things on their own.

5. I haven’t felt fearful in a few weeks when it comes to my daughter Kayleen. She is 8 and reading just a little, if she was in public school they would put her in special ed just for the fact that she is 8 and not at the so called reading level for her age. I truly feel that by me not forcing the subject on her she will gain her natural curiosity to understand all the words that she sees daily. I can’t believe I put so much energy into worrying over this when she is so bright and intelligent, she just learns reading at a different pace than other kids. I’ve stopped the constant flash cards, and forceful daily lessons that drover her bonkers. Believe me we have tried almost every approach to teaching her how to read, now I see it’s time to step back, give her some space, and let her come to it when she is ready.

I know I’ve learned much more but this is just a bight out of what we’ve discovered.

Albert Einstein- “A real education begins when a person forgets all that they learned at school.”

Here’s Articles on allowing kids to read when they are ready… http://sandradodd.com/reading

Here’s a video on what Unschooling is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4GyDc8SInw

Kids Who Love Nature!

I can remember how awesome it was to step outside on a rainy day when I was a young girl.  My brothers and I would spend hours on end running through puddles, riding bikes through puddles, racing little boats in the gutter, and playing make believe games.  The rain seemed to make it even more fun and adventurous.

It seemed so strange to me and it still does that some kids were not allowed to play in the rain.  Instead they had to find things to doors and miss out on the rain.  I thank my mom and dad for letting us play outside and explore because those were some of the moments where I feel I discovered my passions in life.

I read this great book called, “Last Child In The Woods, Saving Our Children From Nature Deficit Disorder.”  In this book he tells his sotry of growing up as a boy, his exploration outdoors on a daily basis.  Granted it’s not always safe to just let your kids run where ever they want to go these days but with super vision and outings our children can get their chance to be in nature too.

Here’s some of our favorite things to do with the kids…

1.  Play at the park

2.  A day at the beach

3.  Hiking at a local trail

4.  Quiet walks

5.  Playing in the yard

6.  Helping out in a garden, or local farm

7.  Climbing a big tree

There are so many more things to do, nature is all around us.  So how about you make a list of ideas and encourage those children to get out of the house and into nature, you can join them too and have a lot of fun together.

Love you all,

Guru Shakti

Everyone has different ways of disciplining or not disciplining their children.  I won’t touch on all the ways to discipline a child but I wll share with you a helpful tip in raising your child.

I used to feel so awful when I got upset or mad with my kids, I felt like I wasn’t doing a good job in being a loving and respectful parent.

My husband and I believe spanking is a big no no, we also believe in mutual respect and communication when it comes to raising our kids.  But this does not mean you can never and will never get mad or loose your temper with your little ones.

In a session I had with Guru Sing he addressed this issue with me and his point made a lot of sense.  If your child sees that no matter what their behavior is no one in the home ever gets upset is a horrible thing to show a kid.  Why?  When it’s time for that kid to go out into the world and they are not with their mommy and daddy, they will have their ass handed to them if they display behavior that is inappropriate.

By the way I’m not saying get mad all the time, like a big child.  Of course you must use your anger consciously and not over use it or it won’t be effective.

I understand where parents come from when they want to practice gentile parenting, with no anger, but if you really think about it that is not how it is in the real world.  To have a well rounded child I believe we must be loving, respectful, and sometimes show them that we are upset when they are displaying behavior that is not so wonderful.  Then show them what good behavior looks like, show them by your own actions, a good example speaks very loudly.

Women As A Community!

A week ago I was blessed enough to be invited to a home schooling group, my good friend Katherine has home schooled her children for a few years now and has been involved in many different groups.  I have home schooled for many years my self but had not ventured out to seek other home schooling groups.

Now I get why it is so important to have a community of women, Of people, with a common ground to walk upon.  Not only did the children have a blast running all over that park, yelling, chasing each other, playing, spinning, climbing trees, tie dying T Shirts, Communicating, Eating, You name it.  But we had such a great time talking and laughing among other mothers who home school their children too.  As we sat under a shaded tree surrounded by out little babies and toddlers, we talked, nursed, ate snacks, laughed, and enjoyed the splendor of getting to know each other.

I loved sitting back and admiring the different styles of parenting, the added character that each mother brought to the group.  Yes we have so much in common but we are all so unique so each person brought something special to the group.  I was reminded of my trip to Fiji with my husband Dan.  As we drove from the air port and to our resort we had to pass through many small villages.  The Local Fijians live in small villages with about 200 people.  Everyone is so kind, and everyone knows one another.

What struck me was how the men spent the day with other men, they worked and took care of their responsibilities.  We passed by a group of women, all from the village.  They washed their clothes in a running creek, the kids played near by swimming, splashing, laughing, and enjoying being kids.  I loved seeing how all the women helped each other.  Yes they were hard at work, taking care of their responsibilities, but they socialized and helped one another.  I could feel the sense of respect and care they had for one another.

That is what I relate our day at the park too.  I felt like we were those women, we have our own community of women, supporting one another, learning from one another, and so on.

I feel blessed to have these new friends!

Trusting In Your Children!

I learned a very important lesson today and I’m sure many mothers can relate.  My daughter Kayleen, whom is home schooled, had to do state testing, it’s mandatory for being apart of a home school charter school.  To be honest I was really worried about it, Kayleen has never done anything like it and she has had challenge with the typical public school sort of stuff.  My fears over come me and I was worried she would feel lost and have a hard time.

Now the funny part is that we went all the way there, driving a half hour, then we found out she didn’t need to come all that way.  It turns out she can do the test at home with her assigned teacher.  But I’m happy we drove all that way and I was proved very wrong.  Kayleen and I spent some time talking about the test as we were driving, she stated her concernes and I helped her to feel at ease.  She marched right in there with a smile on her face, socialized with everyone, spoke up to lady who was at the front desk and told her, “I don’t know if I can do this test, I’m just learning to read, I can read a little, and I only know some math,”  That was the first time I had heard her speak up for herself in that manner, it was so cool.

So the trip was so worth it.  As I sat there waiting to be told what we should do I watched Kayleen and my intuition told me that everything was going to be ok and I should remember this moment.

I guess we need to trust in our children and our children’s abilities, some times we need to get the hell out of the way and let them go.  This is something for all of us parents to be mindful of.

A Right of Passage!

While on an amazing hike today with my three children, my best friend Katherine, and her two daughters, we had a really great conversation about our daughters and what it will be like for them when they begin to grow from a child and into a woman.  In other cultures it has been a long standing tradition to have a very clear right of passage.  When a girl gets her period it is considered a very special and sacred time.  In fact in certain indigenous tribes, when a woman gets her period she goes to a special part of the village to be only with other women, during that time.  She will rest and take care of herself because it is a sacred cycle of her body.

Both Katherine and I agree that we must be open and talk freely about the changes our daughters are going through.  If they have questions answer them, if they have concerns help them to understand that what is going on with their growth is helping them to grow into a divine woman.

We have it back wards in America.  Our right of passage of teens is to send them off to the mall.  It’s a form of Independence to be able to wonder the mall for hours on end with other teens.   Our teens are bombarded with so much information, and so much stimuli.  Our teens are so impressionable at this time in their lives so why the hell are we allowing them to be subjected to so much crap, excuse my french.  If you lived in a tribe, once you grow into your teens you are sent on a vision quest.  This is a time of quiet, of solitude, it is a girl or boys time to discover themselves and grow into a real man or woman.  It is understood that a teen is going through so much emotionally and physically, lets not forget hormonally and the vision quest is mean to guide them through all of this internal resistance.

We don’t live in small tribes here, it’s not common to send out kids on vision quests and celebrate right of passage, but as parents we can create this for them.  My husband and I are going to create something that works for our girls and our son, we as parents will give them a chance to have a right of passage and a vision quest, even if it is in the center of a modern country.

This can be fun and a bonding experience for all of you.  Try doing some research, their are other people in the US who are doing this for their kids too.  Check out and get some ideas so you can do this for your growing children.

The Home Schooling Explorers

When I became a mother, I honestly never thought I’d be a homes schooling mother.  I grew up as a typical American, going to public school.  I enjoyed much of my schooling as a child, but later on, in high school, I found it to be harsh and awful, to be perfectly honest.  I had no plans to be a home schooling family.  I had never been exposed to home schooling and was under the impression that is was only for kids from the country, or kids that lived on farms.  I got this funny impression from the way Hollywood likes to portray home schooling.

You may be wondering how we ended up making this decision.  Once my eldest daughter Kayleen began schooling, we saw very quickly that she marched to her own drummer.  She likes to learn at her own pace, and doesn’t always follow the status qou.  At the time we first put her in main stream public school, they wanted to put her in special education classes.  We agreed and she started in her class.

My heart and intuition didn’t like this new decision.  I didn’t like the labels they tried putting on my daughter.  These people knew nothing about her and yet they wanted so badly to have a nice little label to identify her. My husband and I knew we had to stand up for our daughter now and make some decisions.

I figured if those people can teach my child, so can I.  Besides, what better person to teach a child than the woman who gave birth to the child.  So our journey began, as a home schooling family.  It’s been about three years now.  I will admit, the first year and a half I didn’t really know what I was doing, and that is totally fine.  You can’t expect to get it right immediately.  It took some trial and error, but we finally found a type of home schooling that works so well for our kids.

I love home schooling so much.  Not only does it create this awesome bond with your kids, but there are literally hundreds of ways to approach home schooling.  For those of you who are parents, or who plan on having kids, I would do some research, talk to some parents of home schooled kids, and find out what it’s all about.  It’s not what parents expect, it doesn’t take as much time as you would expect, and you don’t have to be some professional teacher to make it work.


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